A lot of us spend our time waiting for the perfect moment. I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 6 years and I’ve been waiting for reasons to end it for nearly just as long. I’ve been in the same high stress career for 5 years, and I stay here while finding plenty to complain about. I’ve lived in the same city for 20+ years and I yearn to live somewhere different, but it’s been years since I’ve left the city I grew up in for longer than a few weeks. 2 years ago I randomly stopped talking to a close friend because I felt that the friendship energy wasn’t being reciprocated and I’ve been waiting for her to make plans ever since.
I’m a young girl in a big vibrant city, with a good amount of money saved up, but I feel like I’m just saving and saving for a tomorrow that is not guaranteed. I’ve always seen myself as an adventurer, someone who is bold and takes risks. Many of my friends would agree with this viewpoint, so how has someone like me fallen into the rut of comfortability?
When I first started saving money, my main goal was to pay off my student loans. Since then, I’ve managed to accumulate a net worth of more than 10X what my student loan balance was. I set myself up comfortably financially so that I would have the freedom of choice. While I’m no millionaire (yet!) I do have a lot of capital to the point where I can take the foot off the gas. Yet the limited and scared voice inside my head is terrified of walking away from my career and losing all that I’ve accomplished. Logically, I know I can afford to take time off and I’m confident I could find other jobs. Yet emotionally, I can’t bring myself to do it. The point of financial freedom is exactly what I have in front of me: the freedom to choose. However, in all those talks and dreams about financial freedom someone forgot to mention the analysis paralysis that comes along with this so-called freedom. So what is stopping me? Why can’t I liberate myself from the normalities of a day to day life?
There are lots of things I do find enjoyable on a day to day basis. Yet I can’t help but wonder what is on the other side of my dreams…
