I went on a four day bachelor/ette trip (co-ed) and this is how it went…
Flying from the East Coast to Vegas wasn’t so bad except for the fact that we had to leave for the airport at 5:30 AM. I also had some trouble falling asleep the night before looking up the weather and admittedly feeling nervous and anxious of the upcoming trip.
I’d never been on a bachelor trip before, let alone a co-ed trip to a place like Vegas. The planning was all mostly done by the couple themselves. This couple is not the typical couple you’d imagine having a Vegas trip. They hardly drink, they don’t do drugs, they don’t gamble. “So why on Earth were we going to Vegas?” I asked myself in the days leading up to the trip.
They wanted to go to the Grand Canyon. Keep in mind that it’s the end of February and the Grand Canyon is about four hours away from Vegas. On top of that, the bride to be has digestive issues so instead of taking our rental cars to Vegas, they suggested we pay $100 to go on a bus tour with a bathroom on board, which would spend about 3 hours at different stops along the Grand Canyon.
So they wanted us to spend 4 hours each way on a bus and spend less than half of the travel time in the canyon itself. I was really not looking forward to this. Luckily for me, there was enough snow to create road closures so they had to reschedule our trip and eventually the rest of the group was able to convince the couple cancelling was the best.
Apparently I was the only person who checked the weather the night before leaving and had my winter coat but almost everyone else just had on sweaters. With the Grand Canyon being 30 degrees, I don’t think that excursion would’ve gone well for anyone. The couple was sad to miss the grand canyon but I was very grateful to the universe because I was coming to see it as a complete waste of a day on this planet.
Another reason I was nervous to go on this trip is because I only really knew the couple and I barely knew the rest of the group. It was a bit odd being in this big group of people who all hang out with each other constantly and me mostly just knowing the couple.
Creating space for myself
At the same time, it helped me to create space for myself and give myself the validation I needed, outside of trying to mesh with the group or being the leader.
Often in my group trips, I’m the planner and the leader but this time the couple had that role. It was a mixture of relief, anxiety, and weirdness to not be the person calling the shots. Still, I took it as a learning opportunity. I also noticed my friend was having trouble with the lead role herself, resulting in some minor inconveniences, which frustrated me. I took that as a lesson to be patient and roll with the punches. Instead of staying in the frustration I breathed through it and asked how I could help.
In the end, I enjoyed the trip a lot and the company was better than I had anticipated. The only thing is that our days were jam-packed with little or no rest time and it felt like each day we grew more and more tired. We also went to the Vegas strip briefly and I realized it is my LEAST favorite part of Vegas. I complimented the couple for organizing such a fun trip, and also let them know that next time I will need more rest built in or I will build it in myself. I’m realizing now more than ever, boundaries are important!
Remaining as calm as possible
Looking back, there were a few things that helped me remain calm and even-tempered through all the bumps in the road.
- I spoke about my worries concerning the trip with my therapist and people close to me, who helped me reframe the anxious thoughts and be excited for what was to come
- I had recently come back from a solo trip that showed me the importance of validating myself, not seeking validation from others
- On the flight to Vegas, shortly before landing, I selected a patience guided meditation to listen to and practice
- I reminded myself the focus of this trip was to have fun, and celebrate the happy couple
- At times when I felt the urge to respond in an abrupt manner, I paused and let the thought pass by instead of focusing on it
- When I said things that I later regretted, I reminded myself that I said what I said for a reason and it served a purpose and gave myself compassion because each moment is still a learning opportunity
Would I go back to Vegas? For the nature? Absolutely! For the chaos on the strip? Not unless its to go to a delicious restaurant.
Signed,
A Grower not a shower
