This past Friday, I was hanging out at home with my family thinking I was in for a chill night. I was super tired so was looking forward to exactly that, but life had other plans.
What started as a chill night at home with my family ended up with a trip to the hospital.
The emergency
My younger brother had walked to the living room with the goal of letting the dogs out on the balcony. Suddenly, there was a crash like the sound of glass breaking. I yelled out to check if he was okay… no response. I ran over to see what was going on and why there was a lack of response. As I approached my brother I could see tears and panic in his eyes. He yelled “I’m not okay there’s glass everywhere and my skin is hanging loose!”
I was terrified. I had never seen such a bloody or gruesome sight before. That initial wave of panic and fear hit me hard. In that moment, I thought back to the teachings found in one of the books I’m currently reading, The Beginners Guide to Stoicism. The book taught me its perfectly normal to have initial emotional reactions to a given situation, however, it is within one’s power to accept the emotion, allow it to pass, and take a more informed and rational approach once the initial pang of emotion has passed.
The way I applied this with my bleeding and panicked brother in front of me was to feel the fear, acknowledge the fear he was feeling as well, and told him to focus on his breathing. I kept repeating to him that we will figure out the bleeding arm and that the best thing he could do at the moment is to be as calm as possible. In that moment, my mom came by and helped us apply pressure to the wound. She also dialed 911 and it took all my focus to even try to talk to them on the phone. I followed the same advice I had given my brother, breathe and be as calm as possible. Not because it wasn’t scary, but because it was so terrifying that we needed to do our best to keep a level head.
I could see that my mom and brother were in a panic so I tried my best to calm down the conversation through breathing, checking in with how my brother was feeling physically and emotionally, and by keeping a positive mindset. 5 hours and 27 stitches later, we were luckily back home and my brother is now on his way to a full recovery.
Luckily, the glass had shattered in a way that no pieces were in his arm, and although the wound looked pretty bad, all his bones were intact. They were even able to reinsert the piece of his skin that had been hanging off.
The reaction
Why is the way we react so important? Yes we all have emotions that help us go through life and enjoy some things more than others. Emotions are good. However, when we operate from a purely reactive emotional state, there can be consequences. If we all started panicking and crying, it would’ve been hard to get anything done at that point. I wouldn’t have been able to call, wouldn’t be able to explain what happened to the paramedics, or wouldn’t have even been able to stand by my brother’s side as he went through this scary event.
I chose to stay logical and create an environment of calmness for my family and myself. And truly, it made an enormous difference.
Have you ever acted from an emotional place and it backfired? I know I have. And that’s okay too.
Surely, I’ll still slip up as I am human. Yet, we can choose to try better next time and bring logic into a place where there was once only feelings of hurt.
